I've been thinking about my last post and how dreary I was. I thought that 30 was some sort of magical age. That I'd have a job or career, that I'd be married (maybe a kid), that I'd be straightened out, know who I was, what I was doing, and who I was. But I've arrived as this magical mystery number and I'm more confused than ever.
I'm stuck in limbo. I can't make any plans for school or work or volunteering when I feel like this. I can't write, I can't think of anything vaguely entertaining or funny to post. I'm just in a slump. C'mon, just imagine that you're me. Just close your eyes and imagine that you had to cancel every plan - major or minor - of your late 20s. I try to be patient and tell myself that I'll get better and not to judge myself by others. It's a daily struggle; but sometimes both the flesh and the spirit are weak.
4 comments:
Hey, it sucks to freak out, but it is far more unhealthy to feel obligated not to freak out.
(That's my positive spin on freaking out)
I'm definitely freaking out a little. I didn't mean for my last comment to make you feel judged or bad or any of the sort. I just told you all of the things I tell myself :) I've got all of this internal dialogue, and I go from the freaking out to the "it's cool," to the "aaaaahagggghah! If only I could pull that person's hair out!"
!!!!!!!
Life is crazy, eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JaPWAls6qs
(I don't know how to do link thingies)
Thank you for all those comments. I *do* feel pressure/constrained/obligated to not freak out, which makes everything worse. and So I appreciate what you said, Mr. RoboticTree. Thank you, Katy, for listening. And you, brilliant Mlle. la Scientiste, you know just how to cheer me up. :-)
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